Day 46: Feeling Something New

I woke up today with a new thought about PCP.

I realized that this isn't something I'm doing because I have to do it or someone else is making me do... I'm doing this because I want to. So it is time to stop being grumpy about working out.

I think it is important to get in my best shape and relearn how to eat in a healthy-as-possible way. And it is only going to last for 44 more days. So I have to take some tips from Patrick, my Running Rats crew, and the past PCPers to heart. Starting today.

I didn't jump first thing, because I realize that I don't really jump as effectively when I'm not

fully awake, and was okay with that.

Delicious, over-the-top breakfast, because arugula is almost weightless, you can barely see the german pancake (120 mg flour, 120 ml milk, 2 eggs baked in a cast-iron skillet with a wee bit of olive oil coating for 15 minutes at 200-210 degrees Celsius: split with one person to stay on

PCP track).

Unpleasant task of ironing eagerly performed, so that I can finally hem those small-waisted pants and finally have something to wear to work this week that fits me!

Followed by a good, hard workout complete with the jumping because it is fun and goofy and what you do when you are nine years old, then lots of talking myself through the pistol squats, push-ups and bicycles.

The weather today, pouring rain followed by hot sun that dries off the bike paths, seems to echo this transition in my thoughts.

Gloomy with bits of clear, blue sky... ah, Germany!

Day 44: The Talk with Mom

My folks live in the healthiest place in the USA: Boulder, Colorado. This means my mom is surrounded by athletes, both extreme and average, including lots of octogenarians that attend her workout class. It has been inspiring to hear about her adjustment to Colorado, the people she's met and befriended at exercise class, her running routine and race preparation and all the rest of the healthy-happy-middle-aged-plus stuff that she's up to. I'm glad to think of her, a not-old woman in her sixties, living a healthy fulfilled life.

So that's why the Diet Coke bothers me.

My mom is so smart and fitness-focused, but drinks these carbonated, aspartame-filled beverages! Water is okay! Drink seltzer! Add lemon or some raspberries! Ween yourself off the aspartame!

It just makes me think of my lovely former co-worker-- a very nice, middle-aged lady-- who had a 3 diet snapple per day habit. She was overweight, always struggling to diet and never making progress.

And then when you start to watch more about artificial sweeteners, food subsidies, and big agriculture/government liaisons it all starts to get a bit depressing.

That said, it does reinvigorate my desire to be PCP-ing and reaquainting myself with the right way to eat.

My mom said she wanted to do something for my remaining 46 PCP days, to be my ally in the ongoing nutritional challenge, to 'give something up' too. I don't really think of PCP as giving things up, as much as eating lots more of the right things. So here was my advice and my challenge (if she chooses to accept it):

1. Eat more vegetables, try for some at every meal (yes, even breakfast, Mom!)
2. Give up the artificial sweeteners (i.e. diet sodas and those not really healthy diet yogurts)

We'll see how she does.

Mom, mid-hike, on a path near home

Day 43: Failure?

I'm guessing that's what it was.

On my second set of pushups, after 12 really good ones in fact, I got to number 7, I couldn't push myself back up, let out a horrible grunt that freaked out the rest of the household, and crumbled to the floor.

Then cried.

Now this is supposed to be a good thing?

The rest of the push-ups after that were a mess.

7 at a time tops, some on the knees, whatever I could muster.

Ugh.

On the plus side, I tried Ren's magic cinna-banana mush and added black pepper to make it seem more dinner-y. Awesome!

Also I am now competing with the cats for home-grown balcony baby spinach. Grr!

Kharma caught in the act!

Day 42: AKA 6 weeks of a new habit

"You're eating all the time."

"Yeah, but she doesn't look like it!"

Aw shucks, thanks co-workers!

Day 40: If you believe in things that you don't understand...

like I am believing in this project.

Even on days when I just want to nap on the couch and enjoy my holiday (there are an unbelievable amount of Christianity-inspired days off in Germany), and I've got to talk myself into working out... for hours... begrudgingly... grumpily... with lots of reasons why I don't have to... that I've creatively improvised...

but then in comes Stevie Wonder.

and an awesome film called "Inside I'm Dancing" about some paralyzed guys in England who want to live independently.

and a beautiful sunset to end the first day it's been 80 degrees in 2010.

and then I drag my sorry ass off the couch.

and try to take stock of what I've actually done in 40 days.

-lost weight

-bought smaller pants

-uncovered muscles in my arms, legs, shoulders, stomach, chest

-slept better

-eaten smarter

-not missed chocolate every day

-enjoyed veggies more than I ever thought I would

-gotten up to the 4th flight of stairs without feeling winded (not yet my goal of all the way to my 5th floor door, but soon!)

-rediscovered the amazing good taste of naturally sweet things (I love you, Maple Syrup!)

-taken more naps

-generally felt more energetic on a daily basis

-wrangled with my negative impulses that make me want to eat fried foods, drink beer daily and be a couch lump and stay feeling sad about the things that haven't gone right or been easy or will be hard in life

Thank you, Stevie.

I think I need to continue being a little superstitious about what will happen if I don't follow through. 50 more days. I can do this. I need to do this. I will do this.

Day 39: Long Live the Juicer!

It seemed a bit of a splurge...

but it is so AWESOME!

My afternoon snack of fruit and yogurt was made even better by having freshly juiced apple and blueberries to mix with the yogurt for a crazy creamy tart smoothie. So, so yum.

Also good for an evening vegetable snack: carrot, radish, spinach juice anyone? The carrots make everything taste a little sweeter.

Yay for home juicing!

Now I'm off to what will be a real challenge to my PCP state of mind.

I'm still somewhere between the white and blue belt stages when it comes to not snacking (see Patrick's blog for more details): http://pcpupdate.blogspot.com/2009/08/3-techniques-to-disarm-mallory-eating.html

But today I'm headed off to the Berg, a definite black belt encounter.

The town I live in is known for three things: being the epicenter of engineering/medical technology/electronics giant Siemens, the home of the Erlangen-Nürnberg University and the 3rd largest Beer fest in all of Germany (after Munich and Stuttgart, towns that eclipse the population of wee Erlangen 6-13 times over). It is definitely an event that I shouldn't miss. Except that I'm not drinking.

which makes me feel a little like this:

To be fair, there are many other excellent times for drinking outdoors in Germany, so really I can tough out the next 51 days (who's counting?) and delight in my new muscle tone instead. But they'll have those really salty big-as-your-head pretzels too. And probably grilled whole fish.

Good thing the Bergkirchweih is only two weeks.

Day 38: Sunny!

Sun in Germany makes everything better. Sun + Lady Gaga = new jumprope moves.

Also breakfast 'congee' of couscous, shrimp, chicken, radish greens, diced radishes, and broiled eggplant makes the day start out right.

Day 36: Just Dance

I still have my tough jumping moments, but breaking out into dancing helps a lot.

Lady Gaga is surprisingly inspiring.

I'm still talking myself into doing this whole project most days...

"This is just for you, so you know how to be healthy and take care of your body for life.

This isn't about losing weight or none of your pants fitting any more...

Yes, all of your friends are watching, but that's a good thing.

Of course it is hard, that's why you're making progress. Just do your jumps already!"

or some combination of this.

I'm hoping the happy, happy exercise love will kick in soon. Props to my fellow peakers for hanging in when times get tough!

Day 34: Grumble, grumble

Still... jumping... poorly.

Usually it takes about 200 jumps for me to get in a groove.

But today it took 1000 before I felt like I had some real momentum.

Ugh.

I'm not sure what masters of roping I am in this PCP match-up with (go team!) but I am a little jealous and certainly lagging in the masterful, continuous, trip-less jumping.

It just isn't happening for me.

Since I'm in a glum mood, here are some lowlights of the trip to Amsterdam.

Though this has a very low percentage of fat, it is not skim milk. Karnemelk is buttermilk. Though it is very like kefir, which is palatable, it is not the same. And it tastes crappy. Especially when you feel like you bought the whole container and no one else is going to drink it. Bleh.

Amsterdam was in the midst of a sanitation workers strike, so the whole city (actually the whole country) looked crappy and occasionally smelled that way, too.

After walking around endlessly for two days my feet were killing me. Then I did some floor jumps on the balcony. Grrr.

Okay, but my friend made delicious green tea, many cafes have fresh mint tea (without sugar!) and my friend has a lovely cat that watched me curiously during all my exercises. And it was sunny, actually really truly sunny in Amsterdam on Sunday. I guess the buttermilk didn't taint everything. I just wish I could get my jump on.

Day 33: Highlights from PCP on vacation

Jumping on a hill in a playground overlooking a canal.

The ease of finding unsweetened yogurt and fruit shakes all over town.

Strawberry basil... Awesome!

Spongy playground surfaces and spider-like jungle gyms, perfect for incline pull-ups.

Walking around all day and still mustering up the strength to do 1300 jumps and my exercises.

More walking and sight seeing.

Health-conscious restaurants.

Boutique shopping where the proprietress told me I needed a smaller size! Then she found a red-hooded sweatshirt in the stockroom that fits me perfectly.

Sad popsicle twins.

Also seeing a stork up close on the street.

I almost ran into it.

A good trip, but it is nice to be home where I have my workout corner and can weigh things properly. By the way, new pics are up, a little late, but with a special guest appearance!

Day 28: 4 kg lighter and off to Amsterdam!

Wish me luck.

I hope I can maintain with the away-from-home eating and fitness plan!

Pics to come.

Day 26: Completely Manic Mondays

6am wake up, decide not to workout

7am finish breakfast & leave for work

teach until 1:15

1:30 arrive back home, get suited up

Do my PCP workout!!!

3:00 shower and return to school (clean, but still sweating)

4-5 tutoring

5:10 snarf pre-packed dinner

5:30-7:30 go to German class (forgetting registration info, book and room number)

7:45 go to Capoeira

9:45 leave Capoeira

10:30 post on blog

Mondays are going to kill me.

I still can't do the pull-ups. I get in position and the exhale and constrict every muscle I can think of and nothing happens. I don't move. Totally frustrating.

The push-ups are okay, but I know I'm not getting down as far as I should be (i.e. as Patrick is in the pictures).

The creep makes me think I am going to bust something in my knees.

Hopefully Tuesday will be better.

Day 25: Indulgence!

I lingered over the question all morning: beer or cake?

Since Patrick advised against the ill effects of having a bubble-filled beer after many weeks without, I went with the cake.

Could I wait until some day later this week? Of course not!

Besides, going out for coffee and cake is an excellent thing to do in Germany on Sundays... when everything besides cafes are shut and people walk down the main street window-shopping or play with their kids in the park. After many months, I'm finally seeing the charm in the you-must-relax-Sunday mentality.

The cake I chose was from a delightful coffee shop that always has homemade desserts. I was craving chocolate, but this being Germany, chocolate is inevitably linked to hazelnuts when cake is involved, which I am allergic to. Anyway, I went with the apricot cheesecake.

It looked delicious. It was fluffy and smelled great.

I'd heard all the hype about tasty pre-PCP treats not tasting all that great after a few weeks of no-salt, no-sugar, only good, healthy foods, but I didn't believe it.

I was sure that I would find the cake just as delicious as always and that I would not be convinced of the necessity to cut the extra junk out of my diet.

But...

at the first bite, the flavor was so strong.

The second bite was so sweet... too sweet.

The whole thing just tasted wrong.

I was assured by my taste-tester that it was, indeed, a delicious cheesecake... but not to me!

I'll admit the crust was good, but the cheesy part was far too heavy and just felt like a blobby sugar/dairy lump in my stomach.

I'm a little sad for the lost love of good cake.

Perhaps this will help.

Day 23: Uneven Eating Makes Me Grumpy!

Today sucked.

I was tired and feeling kind of on autopilot.

I've been having trouble getting to sleep early (as I type this at 11pm) and with my morning up and out by 7am routine, going to sleep late just doesn't jive.

Of course it was a jammed-packed day of teaching, riding fast to my tutoring session, shopping, and going over to a friend's place for a party.

With cookies.

Delicious homemade cookies.

That I wasn't going to eat.

Because I can do the self-talk... you can eat those cookies for the rest of your life, but for these 90 days you are NOT eating the cookies.

But damn, I wanted those home-baked M&M cookies!

It probably didn't help that I stayed a little too long, then biked home and then didn't start my workout until 9pm, then ate the protein part of my way-too-extended dinner around 9:45. I was feeling pretty down during the workout... hungry, tired, overwhelmed... and cried through several sets of my leg-ups! Not easy to do. This probably means I should be doing more if I can both work my abs and cry, clearly I'm not focused enough!

I guess it's good that I can push myself through the workout, even when I'm feeling completely unenthused about doing so. 67 more days seems very, very far away today.

Day 19: Carrying the Pig

If you read Kid's Lit, as I frequently do for work, then you may know what I'm talking about. If not, you may want to read Louis Sachar's Holes.

In the story the main character's no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather is cursed because he doesn't fulfill a promise to the local, magical, wise woman. She tells him how to win the woman he loves, by impressing her father with the best and biggest pig in the village. She gives him a scrawny runt of a pig and lays down the rules: every day you must carry the pig to the top of the mountain and let him drink from the magical spring. When the boy complains that he won't be strong enough to carry the pig when it is fattened, she explains that each day as the boy carries the increasingly larger pig up the mountain, he too will be getting bigger and stronger.

So I'm carrying the pig.

At times it feels kind of like this.

But slowly I am seeing improvement.

My pants are fitting better. I did my workout when I got home from work. 900 with trips, but no stops! I would not have believed I could do this 19 days ago.

Then I ran off to capoeira:

two hours of playing, singing, working on my handstand and no-hand cartwheel and my feet ache and my ankles feel tight, but I'm not nearly as tired as I would expect my body to feel.

And at long last my pull-up bar came, so hopefully I can tackle those incline or real pull-ups without cursing out the underside of my table.

My no-hand cartwheel could look like this someday!

So my fellow peakers, here's to carrying the pig!

Day 18: A Peaceful Sunday

A good day.

850 jumps with trips, but without breaks: medium then slow speed as needed to keep jumping.

It felt good to push through without stopping.

Then a delicious dinner: steamed, mashed kohlrabi with broiled yogurt chicken and pears, bulgur and white radish. No pictures because I ate it all. Yum!

Day 17: I hate you, Incline Pull-up!

I'm still waiting for my pull-up bar to come.

In the mean time I curse as I try to do incline pull-ups under the kitchen table. I do four and then I just can't move up anymore.

I did an extra set to try to even things out, but still 4 at a time. I can do everything else mostly-- the no-pause lunges are KILLER!-- but damn you, incline pull-up!