Day 90: Part B, Post-Workout, in the Midst of Leaving the Country Craziness!

It's been a whirlwind today.

First the workout. I chose Day 9 because I wanted something with lunges (formerly my archnemesis) and leg-ups. The first time I did the lunges I didn't believe Patrick's 'no rest between sets' because I absolutely HAD to walk around and stretch my thighs before putting my poor legs through another set. I wanted to see if it still felt like this 81 days later.

I still felt the burn, but I didn't think at any point that I wouldn't make it through, as I had so many times in the midst of a workout. The leg-ups also gave a bit of a burn. I take this as my abs and legs still needing a little attention and some more pushing. No biggie.

Everything else was cake.

I finished the whole thing in 20 minutes, with the 600 jumps.

Post-workout I had the snack that I wanted... fruit and an egg white!

Well, I also had an iced espresso WITH MILK which I've been craving ever since it got hot. One of these a day (with the morning milk allotment) was simply not enough.

The celebratory lunch was at the neighborhood Italian joint. Delicious shrimp with linguine and a salad with orange slices and (formerly forbidden) walnuts. And a glass of white wine. Which just makes me sleepy and feel crazy. Followed by marscapone with fruit and an espresso.

Delicious, but my stomach was churning from the buttery shrimp preparation all afternoon.

I'm feeling accomplished, a little frazzled, definitely not ready to say sayonara yet. Deep-ish thoughts yet to come... when I'm not in the midst of packing, trying to remember my American bank PIN and other important details!

But a big CONGRATULATIONS to my Running Rats crew. It would be lovely to meet you all in person and tell you I think you're awesome. In lieu... well, I just said it.

Day 90: Part A, Pre-Workout Inspiration

Yes, this is the Final Countdown!

Day 89: The Day that was lost in the Void

Can you say 'hot?' Jeez Louise!I had to show off just how much I was sweating to all those around because I was not only dripping from my face, head, arms, chest... well, the normal parts... but also I had big drips of sweat down my legs!

Needless to say, the plank failure in today's workout was not all related to my ab muscles and more related to the friction quotient betwixt yoga mat and sweaty arms. Alas.

I knew this was the hardest workout and yes, there was some grunting and exasperated breathing, but it was do-able. I still had that horrible idea midway through: Is this really what I want to be doing? but I pushed that unhelpful thought away with a forceful exhalation.

It's a weird feeling being almost done. Weirder still that we are somewhere between Day 88 (the sequel) and "COMPLETE!" It makes me question what I've done so far and wonder if there's more still to come.

Do I have the tools to get myself into the best shape ever?

YES!

Do I feel healthier and more aware of diet, exercise and the importance of sleep in feeling good and being energetic?

ABSOLUTELY!

Am I proud of what I've accomplished?

YEP!

Do I think I could have pushed myself more some days on some exercises?

CERTAINLY!

Am I in Peak Condition?

MAYBE NOT.

It's this last part that's causing me a little angst. You see, I still haven't achieved all of my Day 1 goals. I've exceeded others (hello, weight loss!? wow!) But I am wondering about the could-have-dones that I didn't do. That--- let's face it-- if I didn't do during this 90-day blitz, will I ever?

On Day 91, I'm also headed for a two-week+ vacation to the U.S. It is a little, but expensive treat to myself because of my hard work and because I really do want to see my friends and family. I'll celebrate with a friend at her wedding, go camping and hiking with my folks, and tool around the old neighborhood and eat out (often) with friends. I'm really looking forward to the trip, but also conscious that the PCP maintenance plan starts on Wednesday and I don't want to blow it just because I'm away from home.

Perhaps it is like Patrick suggests: just focus on one thing at a time, don't look ahead and psych yourself out of it. Still breathing... and sweating.

Day 88: The German Gym Experience

I didn't want to go to just any gym. I used to belong to the YWCA in Brooklyn, which was totally awesome. Not so much for the facilities (a little bit run-down) but for the quality group fitness classes. The aerobics classes teacher was super hardcore and really made the workout fun; the big ladies that were in the class with me who would 'testify' when they felt the burn and jumping around doing weird moves, but having this communal goofiness in the class made it a great time.

Then they closed the YW. And tried to move us all to the YMCA. Which was shiny and new and totally overcrowded, with yoga classes full of skinny girls who seemed competitive about their poses and machines that were lined up like products on a shelf. It was just so... bleh.

So I wanted to make sure I tried out a gym I'd really consider going to, were I the gym-going type once again. So I tried a 'ladies' gym. The whole idea is a good one, women don't want to go to a place where they are being checked out in their spandex or where they have to think too hard about what to wear, they just want to get a good workout. Not that there isn't enough sizing up between women, but perhaps without that creep* vibe that seems to be a part of the mixed-gender gym scene.

*more on creeps to come

Anyway, I tried out a yoga class and a figurworkout class. The first was not very interesting, really slow and not at all like the yoga classes I had been in before. I did have some challenging moments where I was really having to think a lot about my breathing and to be aware of which muscles I was supposed to be using and not. I may do yoga again, but probably not there.

The second 'figurworkout' class was a strange combination of silly and serious. There was massive amounts of set up involved: 3 yoga mats, one trampoline, one resistance band, 2 1-kg weights per person. The room was like a giant tumbling playground. The moves were very '80s aerobics video. I worked up a good sweat, but the whole jumping around (while wearing socks-- which seemed crazy dangerous to me) and doing these silly moves while maintaining an air of utter seriousness, just didn't work for me.

It was good to see ladies of all ages, shapes and sizes there working up a sweat. I did learn a new ab exercise that I may use again. I do appreciate their catering to the ladies with a sauna, wellness room (read 'spa' area), and playroom for kids. I thought the machine set-up bizarre: group 'bauchkiller' (stomach killer) classes are held around a glowing neon pole, so you can face each other while pedaling your stomach to death. Also the radial formation around the TV for the stair climbers, bikes, and other stationary workout machines (including some strange new contraption called vibrating pads!?) was all set-up to distract you from your workout, rather than to encourage you to focus on your muscle work.

In addition, the reception desk served as a mini cafe, complete with three kinds of water and an assortment of 'flavorings' that you could add, as well as other items in tiny plastic goo packets, supposedly some sort of energy/vitamin supplements to enhance your workout with the glow stick.

*Creeps

More are following me. Literally. Yesterday I was shopping for some shorts that don't fall down, when I saw this flash out of the corner of my eye. Some guy had a camera by his leg and secretly took my picture while I was perusing the clothes rack. At first I was totally weirded out, then I decided I should find one of the store employees and report this creep. So I started following him. Maybe I could yell at him or flex a bicep angrily in his direction and give him the idea that what he was doing was not cool. He made a bee-line for the exit and I continue to shake my fist angrily in his general direction.

Why have I become a creep magnet?

Alright, post-morning jumping and two gym classes, it's time to do my Day 88 workout.

Wish me energy in the heat!

Day 87: Losing Weight and Wrong-Way Bras

So I'm all for the 8.5 kilo (18 lbs!) weight loss. Sort of surprised that I was carrying around that much extra baggage. No wonder I would be breathing hard by the time I got to the 5th floor of my building...

It's the equivalent of carrying around my vacuum cleaner all day...

or a big watermelon that I could never eat.

Generally it is an excellent thing. I can jump around now and feel light and healthy and good.

But did I really have to lose so much from the boob department?

My formerly too-tight bras have gone from fitting well again to this bizarre elephant skin-fabric indentation thing. It is like a grape, before it becomes a raisin.

Clearly there was something in there once, behind the fabric, but now it is just a memory...

It is awkward especially when trying to shop in a metric-based world. I just have to try lots of things on before I figure out my size in normal clothes. But I had to return some bras that were woefully too large for me in the smallest of sizes! I fear they do not make bras small enough for me in this country. What's less than an A-cup anyway? I think I'm resorting to pre-teen training bras, which are almost like sports bras anyway, until I get this thing figured out!

Enough of the bitching.

Workout update: the supersets are excellent and make me feel super-strong. It is really amazing that I can do these now. I never would have thought it 87 days ago. I am very much like a superhero now when doing my workouts. However, the Davinci/Forward Shoulder Raise combo is KILLLER!!! I had to resort to my green rubber band, which I think is really made for the gray-haired workout crowd. I guess a gray-haired superhero is still a superhero.

Day 86: It's taken me this many days, but now I know I can really do this!

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

Calvin Coolidge

Day 85: ISO Tailbone Cushion

Nearing the end, but still wishing I could actually match the proper form on some exercises.

Namely, my scrappy V-sits.

They haven't gone any pretty as I've gotten stronger.

I think I need a thicker mat (I've been using a yoga mat) to cushion my bones properly. I already looked ahead and the week is full of V-sits! Must buy this tomorrow morning, so I can get my workout in before it is 34 degrees (93 F). Yes, this is in Germany!

At least the Pistol Squats are over. Though I did feel like I could do them the right way today. With a little bit of cursing and grunting, of course.

Hang in, Running Rats et al. The end is in sight.

Day 84: Only Jumps Day!

The last one!

Oh, how I relish the respite you give me from my resistance band.

Surely this week will be the hardest one.

In other news: I snuck extra egg whites into a restaurant and sliced them into my salad.

The stealthy healthy eater strikes!

Hang in there Running Rats! Less than a week to go.

Day 83: The Problem with Going 'Public'

I've been bothered today by some comments a random member of our online society left on my flick'r page. Though they were complimentary, they objectified me, specifically parts of my body that I feel are my hard-earned muscle-y bits, that I didn't especially want people other than those supportive PCP-ers and friends to comment upon. I visited this commenter's page, to see if he was someone I should know from the PCP world at large, and found many other pictures of snippets of womens' bodies. Which creeped me out.

I know this whole project is public for a reason. I am more accountable for my workouts, for the hours of sweating grumpiness that I've gone through so that I could get myself into this shape. Without posting pics each week, I probably would have had a little less push or taken it easier on myself in the midst of a tough set of exercises.

I guess what is bothering me is the fact that this online 'cat call' has the ability to upset me, to make me feel like I've shown too much of myself and to be even more self-conscious about having my pics online. When I stand tall and pose for my weekly update shot, I'm feeling proud of my accomplishments, my hard work and trying to make my muscles look their best. Getting a response from some random loser shouldn't take that pride, courage and confidence away from me.

I blocked that person from commenting on my page in the future and deleted his comments, but I wish there was some more acute form of punishment to let him know that he's an asshole and moreover, that my body, or any of ours for that matter, are ultimately private. These blogs and self-portraits are a way to chronicle our progress for ourselves, not for the prying eyes of online oglers.

Day 82: Haribo Rescue

I had to eat some candy today.

I ate some delicious fish at lunch and got a fish bone stuck in the way back soft palate-y part of my mouth. Where it stabbed me at frequent, yet unforeseeable intervals for about 4 hours this afternoon. I tried drinking lots of water, forcefully swallowing yogurt, stabbing at it with a tiny spoon, until I made something bleed! eek! That's when I bought some yogurt gummis. They are clearly not so much yogurt, as pure sugar, but they have a lovely mushiness about them that you can shove around in the back of your mouth until it stabs the wayward fishbone and then you can swallow it whole.

Of course part of my suffering was during my German class. I learned how to say fishbone: Gräte, which I of course, instantly messed up by saying I had a Geräte in my throat. Geräte means gadgetry or hardware. Oh, this language learning is great, if only for the comedy I provide to others.

More on the German swimming pool experience to come.

Day 81: Food Galore and Minor (?) Knee Hijinks

First the food.

I've had some extra time on my hands-- I love you summer vacation!-- and so I've had a little more time to devote to extra good eating, PCP-style, of course.

Breakfast today: shredded chicken on a bed of lettuce with a 1.5 fried egg with scallions, sun-dried tomatoes and white radishes. Carbs were eaten while preparing the rest!

More Muesli!

Posing with berries and a look of post-workout bliss

Post-workout snack with extra fresh yogurt mixed in strawberries, cherries and johannisberries on top.

Delicious!

Now for the not-so-good.

My knee has been hurting. Both my knees make horrible cracking/popping noises normally, but they don't usually hurt. Friday I walked a lot and the knees felt twisty and not good. I took it easy yesterday: one set of jumps followed by biking around town and a little walking. I intended to go swimming, but didn't make it there.

Apparently there is a fabulous new city pool just a short walk from my house. But it involves overcoming one of my fears/dislikes: negotiating new activities in German. This is also problematic for Patrick's new homework: checking out a gym. This task would be heinous enough, just jumping rope in public is strange enough, let alone working out in close quarters, in our own independent bubble, but right next to other sweaty persons... but add to that the fact that I am worried I will not be understood when I want to 'try-out' a gym for a day as 'trial membership' that involves some sort of per month commitment that I neither want nor can afford at the moment. Ugh. I guess I'll have to make a cheat sheet of possible words in German that I may hear and make sure I don't sign anything more than 1 page in length.

Back to the knees. I jumped without too much difficulty today, though I did have to stretch things out between sets to keep going. The heavy leg/knee focus in today's workout is making me cringe. My knees do not like Pistol Squats, even when they are feeling strong and limber. Can I substitute some regular Squats or Lunges? Or is that cheating so close to the finish line? Patrick?

Day 79: Squeezing in an Indulgence

It was really hot here today, so I did my workout before noon.

I finally bought my 'fitness' gloves, as they are called here, hopefully I can focus on the abs now instead of the blisters forming on my hands during Kung-Fu Sit-ups. Much hilarity in trying to ask the clerk if they were supposed to fit tightly... he looking me up in my skirt and tank top... me in halting German explaining that I need to use them for pull-ups... him looking at me skeptically... that is until I tried a dumbbell curl and shocked him with my awesome biceps!

But the real point of this post: INDULGENCE 3!!!

I almost didn't want to go for it. Since watery, veggie stuffs, and fruit, are the new loves of my life. But I figured sushi, a little white wine... oh, and of course an ice cream sundae... and perhaps a beer, would be delightful on this wonderfully warm day.

A delightful starter: glass noodles (salty!), cranberry juice mixed with mineral water, and white wine!

Asparagus tempura... too fried and drizzled with mayonnaise!

Sushi... to share. It's only 1000-calorie indulgence, after all.

The raspberry sundae and espresso macchiato.

The vanilla gelato was delicious. I didn't see the point of the whipped cream, clearly it was just in my way. The raspberries were delightfully tart. I will probably never eat this sundae again. And that's just fine.

Contemplating, post-sushi...

The final piece was a delightfully, refreshing Schneider Weisse .5L beer. The perfect accompaniment to a tense football match. Still feeling sad about Ghana's loss and the general malaise that accompanies my post-indulgence body. I feel kind of loogy. Slower, heavy... of course it is still really hot, so it's hard to tell which part of the evening is causing these feelings. I guess I expected to feel even worse. Perhaps because I spread this out over several hours... 5? I'm not feeling like I packed in the calories, though I certainly did. Maybe this is my warning about overconsumption in the future. You can still eat an awful lot, even if it takes a long time, it still adds up. Off to find an aspirin!

Day 78: Muesli and Malevolent Musings

First the muesli.

I had as much as allowable and it was delicious. I'm so excited about the real good food possibilities that are both PCP-friendly AND accepted as 'normal.' Read, not banana-egg white-dinner shakes. Muesli totally fits the healthy and normal bill. As well, it is deliciously scrumptious and varied, depending on the type of fruit and grains and creaminess of the yogurt. The Swiss definitely have this one down. I will master my own version, post-PCP. Or perhaps this week.

Because I need some projects to structure my time.

Now that school has ended, I have much more time on my hands, though not a whole lot of it turns out to be productive.

I am realizing through this project some of my negative habits that interfere with my ability to get stuff done. Putting off a workout through as much of the day as possible, is just one piece of this. Procrastinating the unpleasant-- cleaning, organizing, doing generally unfun tasks-- is all very ordinary, but leads to a sloth-like, searching the web, aimlessly, behavior, that really isn't what I want to spend the bulk of my time doing. If I keep putting off things, because they are hard or unpleasant or take effort and time to achieve, I will turn back into the blob on the couch that I've been working for 70+ days to snap myself out of. I wish I felt energized pre-workout, as I do post-, so that I'd have that kick to get going and do stuff.

Of course, comparing myself to other teammates and previous PCP folks isn't helping, as they seem to be in the 'natural high' portion of enjoying exercise and feeling great about doing workouts and extra sessions of other fun activities. Like doing the 8-Minute Abs routine, just because it is rewarding. People, this is day 78 and I STILL HAVEN'T DONE IT. This happy-exercising-super-productive-successful-and-muscly-PCPer seems to be the norm this far along in the project, but is totally NOT how I'm feeling about my project. I'm struggling still just to do my time, eeking out an hour of hard work, then relaxing again. Is there something wrong with me that I'm still not 'getting' about working out? Am I destined to be a sloth?

Ugh. The negative self-talk certainly isn't helping. Time to go feel good about myself... perhaps with some poorly executed pistol squats?

Grr.