This week's food is way more manageable. I know that heavy fruits and veggies are good because then I don't have to eat 20, I found a way to search for songs with beats per minute that fit my jump speed-- just search for the bpm for the song that you know works for you, then search that number on last fm and you get your own personal radio playlist!-- and I'm getting a handle on the mass shopping/cooking that must be done to sustain my new fitness-focused self.
But I'm still missing something.
I'm resistant to things. I'm not willing to say 'no' to going out and being social. I want to hang out with people and talk myself into thinking it's no big deal if I order a salad with more vinegar than I think I should be having on my cucumbers. Or if I don't have time to go shop at the one market where I can get fresh fish, I'll buy the smoked kind that I can find more easily (that I know has too much salt). It is because I'm lazy? Resentful at the difficulty of finding the fresh foods I need and would be able to find easily, were I still living in Brooklyn? Not willing to give up an invitation to do something fun after a winter of feeling rather isolated and lonely? Or just not committed enough to this whole project?
Ugh, self doubt.
Hear the doubt, acknowledge its presence, and do the right thing anyway. It'll quiet down in a few weeks!
ReplyDeleteHang in there. I have been "out to dinner" twice, 1 time was able to order PCP friendly stuff, the other time I ate at home before going to the restaurant, where I drank sparkling water while everyone else pigged out on great food and nice wine, but to be honest, I was not tempted and did not feel bad, actually felt good, the lingering effects from my work out providing fuel for the PCP fire. I felt like I had won a battle, being able to socialize while keeping to the PCP. It also helped that my friends are all being very supportive (after the expected ribbing) and some have asked for the website!
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