Greetings from the Post-PCP Life!

Mom and I flexing at 12,000 feet: Independence Pass, CO

It's been a crazy ride.
I put off the 'thoughts-after-90-days' post because immediately after finishing PCP, I got sick!

I'm sure the germs on the plane, wickedly intense heat in NYC, mania of travel and non-stop agenda didn't help. So while I was hoping to feel awesome, show off my new fit and happy self and play capoeira with my old Brooklyn chums, I instead was coughing up phlegm and feeling off-balance. Bah humbug!

Listening to my body and acknowledging I was really sick helped. Going to the doctor helped. Camping and hiking with my parents in the mountains helped. Having a routine helped--jogging and coffee with Dad at 5:30am? Okay!

Hiking with the family near Aspen, CO

I had forgotten how out-of-control portion sizes are in the US. I ordered a large Americano at my old ice cream stand/coffee place and was shocked when the woman behind the counter asked: Do you want 3 or 4 shots of espresso? Yikes, I was thinking 2 was plenty!

So eating out was really tough. I kept ordering the wrong thing. It sounded good, but tasted too greasy or salty or just, not good. I've realized the question is not: Will this taste good? But more importantly: Will this feel good to me after I've eaten it?

I erred in this department many a time whilst on vacation. Spiced chocolate donut in San Francisco? Delicious, but felt like a rock in my stomach immediately after eating it! Salmon my dad grilled with some sauteed chard and shallots? Yum on both accounts.

Okay, on to the things I've learned from this crazy PCP journey.

1. Change is really hard.

I had a clue about this from the international move I did last year.

Habit-changing is harder.

Especially when new habits you are cultivating involve lots of physical challenges.

That's why people avoid this hardship whenever possible and stay seated on the couch.

2. Challenges feel good.

I have never felt stronger or more happy about how I feel and look.

The last rep of the last set of the workout always had a tinge of nostalgia: I'm not doing that anymore... wait, yay!!!! Even on massively sweaty days felt like I was accomplishing something, something gross, but something good!

3. You Must Pay Attention.

• Getting flabby and losing energy doesn't happen overnight. It is a process of ignoring your body's needs that you know is happening, but don't always acknowledge or rationalize with lame excuses.
• Doing exercises poorly because it is a little less painful doesn't help you in the end. Do it right! Right now!
• Eating whatever makes you feel good in the moment does not make you feel good long-term.
• Pay attention to your actions and their impact on your body.
• Yes, I am a teacher. Can you tell?

4. The Muscle that is hardest to see changing is the one inside your skull!

• Really it takes even longer than the abs to come through!
• The sweating, grunting and forceful exhaling is all easy once you have worked on the mind.
• Getting up off the couch is the serious challenge. It takes more than 90 days to master.
• It will continue to be the thing I need to work on gray days like today when I think: jumproping before breakfast? but why? Putting on the shoes and making it happen makes me feel better. I will keep making the effort to remember this.

5. Keep talking through the rough parts.

This workout thing is no picnic. Remembering to blog about the hard parts and supporting others through them is why this project works. On days when I wasn't feeling up to the task, I thought about the rest of my team who were also dealing with these thoughts and other major changes in their lives and realized, if they can do it, so can I. Some days I could only do the workout after I read everyone else's blog for a boost. Thanks Team!

I think this applies to other hard things in life, as well. The idea of being independent and working it out alone isn't as important to me now, as is the idea of getting something done however I can, even if that means feeling weak and asking for help along the way.

Final thoughts... really, I'll stop stealing the spotlight from the newbies!

When I started this project, I didn't know if I could do it. I thought it would get too hard and I knew that my capoeira friends, Shivani and Emily, were stronger, had a better game than I and might just be more physically capable. I realized throughout the program that it isn't about being more muscly or athletic. People of all ages can do PCP... and have. The folks with really low body fat percentages already, big guys and gals, the 40+ crew, the still-in-college crowd and people who have the coveted six-pack on day 50, are all DOING THE SAME WORKOUT.

The biggest challenge was to convince myself that it was worth my time and effort to spend a few months focusing on making myself stronger, inside and out. I definitely had help in this from Patrick, my Running Rats team, my number one assistant (aka Head Chef & Cheerleader on the Homefront), as well as my folks, my friends, and all of you reading this thing RIGHT NOW. Knowing complete strangers were keeping tabs on me too-- I see you blog counter!-- helped me stay focused during the tough times when I wanted to bail on the whole thing. I am very grateful for the chance to be a better version of myself from year 33 onward.

Good luck to all the just started PCPers, the Day 66ers (team Sexaay! I believe?), Day 36ers and all of you out there waiting in the wings. It is worth the commitment and the struggle. Just get down to it!

Day 90: Part B, Post-Workout, in the Midst of Leaving the Country Craziness!

It's been a whirlwind today.

First the workout. I chose Day 9 because I wanted something with lunges (formerly my archnemesis) and leg-ups. The first time I did the lunges I didn't believe Patrick's 'no rest between sets' because I absolutely HAD to walk around and stretch my thighs before putting my poor legs through another set. I wanted to see if it still felt like this 81 days later.

I still felt the burn, but I didn't think at any point that I wouldn't make it through, as I had so many times in the midst of a workout. The leg-ups also gave a bit of a burn. I take this as my abs and legs still needing a little attention and some more pushing. No biggie.

Everything else was cake.

I finished the whole thing in 20 minutes, with the 600 jumps.

Post-workout I had the snack that I wanted... fruit and an egg white!

Well, I also had an iced espresso WITH MILK which I've been craving ever since it got hot. One of these a day (with the morning milk allotment) was simply not enough.

The celebratory lunch was at the neighborhood Italian joint. Delicious shrimp with linguine and a salad with orange slices and (formerly forbidden) walnuts. And a glass of white wine. Which just makes me sleepy and feel crazy. Followed by marscapone with fruit and an espresso.

Delicious, but my stomach was churning from the buttery shrimp preparation all afternoon.

I'm feeling accomplished, a little frazzled, definitely not ready to say sayonara yet. Deep-ish thoughts yet to come... when I'm not in the midst of packing, trying to remember my American bank PIN and other important details!

But a big CONGRATULATIONS to my Running Rats crew. It would be lovely to meet you all in person and tell you I think you're awesome. In lieu... well, I just said it.

Day 90: Part A, Pre-Workout Inspiration

Yes, this is the Final Countdown!

Day 89: The Day that was lost in the Void

Can you say 'hot?' Jeez Louise!I had to show off just how much I was sweating to all those around because I was not only dripping from my face, head, arms, chest... well, the normal parts... but also I had big drips of sweat down my legs!

Needless to say, the plank failure in today's workout was not all related to my ab muscles and more related to the friction quotient betwixt yoga mat and sweaty arms. Alas.

I knew this was the hardest workout and yes, there was some grunting and exasperated breathing, but it was do-able. I still had that horrible idea midway through: Is this really what I want to be doing? but I pushed that unhelpful thought away with a forceful exhalation.

It's a weird feeling being almost done. Weirder still that we are somewhere between Day 88 (the sequel) and "COMPLETE!" It makes me question what I've done so far and wonder if there's more still to come.

Do I have the tools to get myself into the best shape ever?

YES!

Do I feel healthier and more aware of diet, exercise and the importance of sleep in feeling good and being energetic?

ABSOLUTELY!

Am I proud of what I've accomplished?

YEP!

Do I think I could have pushed myself more some days on some exercises?

CERTAINLY!

Am I in Peak Condition?

MAYBE NOT.

It's this last part that's causing me a little angst. You see, I still haven't achieved all of my Day 1 goals. I've exceeded others (hello, weight loss!? wow!) But I am wondering about the could-have-dones that I didn't do. That--- let's face it-- if I didn't do during this 90-day blitz, will I ever?

On Day 91, I'm also headed for a two-week+ vacation to the U.S. It is a little, but expensive treat to myself because of my hard work and because I really do want to see my friends and family. I'll celebrate with a friend at her wedding, go camping and hiking with my folks, and tool around the old neighborhood and eat out (often) with friends. I'm really looking forward to the trip, but also conscious that the PCP maintenance plan starts on Wednesday and I don't want to blow it just because I'm away from home.

Perhaps it is like Patrick suggests: just focus on one thing at a time, don't look ahead and psych yourself out of it. Still breathing... and sweating.

Day 88: The German Gym Experience

I didn't want to go to just any gym. I used to belong to the YWCA in Brooklyn, which was totally awesome. Not so much for the facilities (a little bit run-down) but for the quality group fitness classes. The aerobics classes teacher was super hardcore and really made the workout fun; the big ladies that were in the class with me who would 'testify' when they felt the burn and jumping around doing weird moves, but having this communal goofiness in the class made it a great time.

Then they closed the YW. And tried to move us all to the YMCA. Which was shiny and new and totally overcrowded, with yoga classes full of skinny girls who seemed competitive about their poses and machines that were lined up like products on a shelf. It was just so... bleh.

So I wanted to make sure I tried out a gym I'd really consider going to, were I the gym-going type once again. So I tried a 'ladies' gym. The whole idea is a good one, women don't want to go to a place where they are being checked out in their spandex or where they have to think too hard about what to wear, they just want to get a good workout. Not that there isn't enough sizing up between women, but perhaps without that creep* vibe that seems to be a part of the mixed-gender gym scene.

*more on creeps to come

Anyway, I tried out a yoga class and a figurworkout class. The first was not very interesting, really slow and not at all like the yoga classes I had been in before. I did have some challenging moments where I was really having to think a lot about my breathing and to be aware of which muscles I was supposed to be using and not. I may do yoga again, but probably not there.

The second 'figurworkout' class was a strange combination of silly and serious. There was massive amounts of set up involved: 3 yoga mats, one trampoline, one resistance band, 2 1-kg weights per person. The room was like a giant tumbling playground. The moves were very '80s aerobics video. I worked up a good sweat, but the whole jumping around (while wearing socks-- which seemed crazy dangerous to me) and doing these silly moves while maintaining an air of utter seriousness, just didn't work for me.

It was good to see ladies of all ages, shapes and sizes there working up a sweat. I did learn a new ab exercise that I may use again. I do appreciate their catering to the ladies with a sauna, wellness room (read 'spa' area), and playroom for kids. I thought the machine set-up bizarre: group 'bauchkiller' (stomach killer) classes are held around a glowing neon pole, so you can face each other while pedaling your stomach to death. Also the radial formation around the TV for the stair climbers, bikes, and other stationary workout machines (including some strange new contraption called vibrating pads!?) was all set-up to distract you from your workout, rather than to encourage you to focus on your muscle work.

In addition, the reception desk served as a mini cafe, complete with three kinds of water and an assortment of 'flavorings' that you could add, as well as other items in tiny plastic goo packets, supposedly some sort of energy/vitamin supplements to enhance your workout with the glow stick.

*Creeps

More are following me. Literally. Yesterday I was shopping for some shorts that don't fall down, when I saw this flash out of the corner of my eye. Some guy had a camera by his leg and secretly took my picture while I was perusing the clothes rack. At first I was totally weirded out, then I decided I should find one of the store employees and report this creep. So I started following him. Maybe I could yell at him or flex a bicep angrily in his direction and give him the idea that what he was doing was not cool. He made a bee-line for the exit and I continue to shake my fist angrily in his general direction.

Why have I become a creep magnet?

Alright, post-morning jumping and two gym classes, it's time to do my Day 88 workout.

Wish me energy in the heat!

Day 87: Losing Weight and Wrong-Way Bras

So I'm all for the 8.5 kilo (18 lbs!) weight loss. Sort of surprised that I was carrying around that much extra baggage. No wonder I would be breathing hard by the time I got to the 5th floor of my building...

It's the equivalent of carrying around my vacuum cleaner all day...

or a big watermelon that I could never eat.

Generally it is an excellent thing. I can jump around now and feel light and healthy and good.

But did I really have to lose so much from the boob department?

My formerly too-tight bras have gone from fitting well again to this bizarre elephant skin-fabric indentation thing. It is like a grape, before it becomes a raisin.

Clearly there was something in there once, behind the fabric, but now it is just a memory...

It is awkward especially when trying to shop in a metric-based world. I just have to try lots of things on before I figure out my size in normal clothes. But I had to return some bras that were woefully too large for me in the smallest of sizes! I fear they do not make bras small enough for me in this country. What's less than an A-cup anyway? I think I'm resorting to pre-teen training bras, which are almost like sports bras anyway, until I get this thing figured out!

Enough of the bitching.

Workout update: the supersets are excellent and make me feel super-strong. It is really amazing that I can do these now. I never would have thought it 87 days ago. I am very much like a superhero now when doing my workouts. However, the Davinci/Forward Shoulder Raise combo is KILLLER!!! I had to resort to my green rubber band, which I think is really made for the gray-haired workout crowd. I guess a gray-haired superhero is still a superhero.

Day 86: It's taken me this many days, but now I know I can really do this!

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

Calvin Coolidge